Truth
by Shikibu Murasaki
Summary: Hiro makes a sacrifice for Shuuichi and does not regret it. Even if it does hurt


  
Truth   
By: Murasaki_Honou 

Disclaimers: I'm not going to post this up anyway. So whoever's reading it, I'll need your comments. I guess I hand this over to Yumiko-chan this is dedicated to the Gravitation fan who brought me to this fandom. Arigato, Umi-chan! 

This is a sort of Hiroshi/Shuuichi fan fic. I've been routing for them, I always have and always will 

* * *

_You may only be one person to the world... But you may also be the world to one person._

_-Anonymous-_   


''Damn it! Damn that bastard! Hiro-kun! Hang on!'' 

''Hiro-kun! Hang in there!'' 

''I've already called Touma, he's on his way here...'' 

''Nakano-kun!'' 

_Why the hell do I feel like I'm dying? Am I dying? I don't think I'm even strong enough to open my eyes. But I can hear their voices. I want to tell them that I'm okay and that they shouldn't make a big fuss out of it. I can't move my hands, I can't give them any sure sign that I'm conscious._

_God, why does it hurt? It's too painful it's amazing I'm still alive. I hate to bitch around but -- this is something serious. My head is throbbing, my whole body is weak and I feel like I am about to die and that I'm being drained out completely. Why does it hurt this much? What the hell is wrong with me? I can hear footsteps and doors opening, nurses calling out for help. I'm in a goddamned hospital. And I've worried everyone just by being there._

''Hiro! Hiro! This is all my fault! '' 

_That voice..._

'' Don't blame yourself, Shuuichi-kun! It's not going to do anything now... ''   
''Why didn't I stop him? Why didn't I see that something was going wrong?-- This is my fault!'' 

_Shuuichi. Still blaming it on him... why does he always do this to himself?_

''Get a hold of yourself, Shuuichi-kun!''   
''Hiro... I'm so sorry! This is all my fucking fault!''   
''He can't hear you now, Shuuichi. This won't do anything.'' 

_I want to tell him to stop! This isn't his fault! This is all mine. I brought this on to myself, and now I'm paying for it. I guess he was all worth that. Even if I didn't make it alive here, I wouldn't regret anything. I would have done it still even if I knew that I could die. I told him, I was always by his side. I'm keeping that promise. No matter what happens._

''I'm sorry, this is where you stop. You can't go in the ER.'' 

'' Damn it! I'm not going to stay out here! Let me go! Noriko-san! Let me go!''   
''Shuuichi-kun! Yamenasai!''   
''Hanase, Noriko-san! I have to be there! Noriko-san! Don't do this!'' 

_He's crying now, I can hear him. Shuuichi... don't do this._

''I'm sorry, Shindou-san.'' 

''Hiro! Hiro! -- Hanase, Noriko-san!''   
''Shuuichi-kun, dame yo!''   
''Don't do this, Shuuichi. Hiroshi wouldn't want you do this either.''   
''He'll be alright now, Shuuichi-kun. Nothing's going to happen anymore.'' 

_They're taking me in the room. And I can hear hurried and panicked voices, Someone's life is on the line here, people! Speed it up! They said. I must have been bleeding -- after what I did. I was the clumsy one. Or maybe I didn't care anymore, maybe I couldn't watch it happen and I wanted to pay the price instead._

_You're probably wondering what really happened now. I know I still am._

* * *

It would be about eight o' clock in the night when we'd finish practicing. And then Shuuichi would beg to walk home with me. I don't know why, maybe he gets a little homesick. He's been living alone ever since Bad Luck started, same with me. But when it came to his neighborhood, we'd part ways. I'd walk him to his house but, his destination wasn't exactly there. It would be to the house of the big-time writer, Yuki Eiri. Did I mention that they were lovers for quite sometime now? It hasn't been an easy ride for Shuuichi ever since that. But, hey -- that's life, right? 

I walked to the door. Looking up as Seguru packed up his stuff and Shuuichi was running to the door. 

''See you tomorrow, Seguru!'' 

He smiled and nodded, despite the events of the day that took place thanks to Shuuichi -- He was happy that we got through practice anyway. 

''Matte! Hiro!'' 

There it was, the sound of his voice. I smiled and turned to him. ''Hey! No kids allowed.'' 

''I'm not a kid!'' He said in an annoyed and pouting voice, I couldn't help but laugh. He hated being called a kid. ''Come on, Hiro! Please? Let me walk home with you?'' 

Could I refuse? Of course not. I could never really turn him down. '' Alright, fine.'' I said shaking my head. ''Let's go.'' with that, he ran out the door, calling out. ''Ja na! Seguru! We'll see you!'' 

Well, here it goes. Another night -- and he'd tell me everything that's been bothering him about Yuki-san. It was almost like it was routine, I've gotten used to it already. But, I really couldn't be helped but be bothered by these things. Shuuichi is my best friend, I don't want to see him hurt. But every time he's with Yuki-san, he always seemed to be. I've talked to him before, when he did Shuuichi wrong again. I'm not so sure it worked. I can't help but wonder if he loved Shuuichi as much as Shuuichi loved him. I knew he must have, right? Or maybe he was just using him for sex. Was that really any of my business? I'll let Shuuichi think what he wants. Then he can tell me everything and I promise to help him out. I told him that so many times. Hopefully, he isn't tired of hearing it. But a person like him? He would never be. That's exactly what he needed to hear. Now if only Yuki-san knew that. 

We were outside, and we were walking. He was quiet which was a surprise to me. He never was, he would always find something to babble about. I knew then something was wrong. I looked at him, and I think he noticed that I was because it was then that he started to cover up his little problem. 

''Practice was great today, wasn't it -- Hiro? Well, okay so there was a little trouble with ASK but there's always trouble with them as far as I'm concerned! I really won't let that bother me! As long as Bad Luck is doing great and you and Seguru are still around? I'm fine! Besides, Sakuma-san is always around to help us, ne?'' 

He sounded forcefully cheerful. Something was definitely wrong. 

''Yeah.'' I said. ''I guess he is.'' 

I looked at him and he looked ahead, he kept talking and talking. Until finally, I couldn't take this anymore. I knew he was in pain and I wouldn't stand for it. 

''Shuuichi... omae wa daijoubu janai.'' my voice was stern and gentle at the same time. I knew it would make him stop. 

And it did. 

''Eh?-- Do imu yu koto ga? --- I'm fine! I'm perfectly fine!''   
''Shuuichi, don't hide this from me.'' 

He was quiet and so was I. The wind was getting colder and I saw him shivering. I knew he was going to cry, maybe I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. Now not only did I remind him of his problem, I was going to make him cry. 

''I-- I'm not -- hiding -- anything.'' 

He suddenly sat back on the ground and I gasped softly, he was crying. I could hear his soft sobs, his tears fell to the dry ground. And his voice -- it sounded so pained. 

'' Hiro... he -- he -- he had sex with another woman... '' 

Well, that wasn't new. I knew Yuki-san had more than Shuuichi. A guy like him? He wasn't exactly Boyfriend of the year. 

''You told me -- Shuuichi, you told me he had others beside you.'' 

'' I know! I know I did but -- I went to his house last night. He smelled like her perfume, every part of him. Her perfume scent was all over the room, there was red hair on his comb, in the shower. He had a lipstick mark on his collar. It was another woman -- I asked him and it was like it didn't matter to him! I'm just one of his fucking play toys! And I can't hate him for it!'' 

''Shuuichi...'' I walked over to him and I helped him up, he looked at me with tears in his eyes. 

'' Hiro, should I see him tonight? What should I do? I'm confused -- I'm angry, I'm sad about this whole thing! I want to hate him! But I can't -- I love him!'' 

I felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart and twist it around and kicked me back to laugh at me. Hearing him say that, it pained me so much. I knew he loved Yuki-san, I know that but. After what he did to him, I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't stand seeing Shuuichi cry like this over and over again. I knew his pain was worse than mine. 

''Confront him about it, Shuuichi. If he doesn't talk to you about it -- keep trying.'' 

Shuuichi paused and took a deep breath. He wiped his tears away and nodded. 

''You're right... I should do that.'' 

He walked on and I followed him, he was almost there and I was going to leave him soon. If Yuki-san wouldn't talk to Shuuichi about it. He was going to with me. 

I could see Yuki-san's house from here. And Shuuichi took a deep breath as he walked on -- I was going to say goodbye to him when suddenly the house's door opened. He and I both stopped. 

And just like that, I heard Shuuichi's tearful and soft cry. There she was -- at exactly eight fifteen, leaving Yuki-san's house. A very attractive red head walking off. She made a left turn and Shuuichi watched until she was out of his sight and he just stood there. I blinked, How could he do this to him? I slowly walked towards him, reaching out a hand to put on his shoulder. 

''Shuuichi...'' 

''I knew it... I knew she'd be here! And I knew he was just using me!'' 

With that, he ran off. I looked up and called out to him. ''Shuuichi! Matte!'' 

He wasn't going to come back. And in his state, it's no doubt that he was going to get hurt. I wasted no time and ran after him, I could see him from a far. He was always the fast runner between the two of us. But I needed to catch up with him, something was going to happen to him if he wasn't careful. But that wasn't important to him. 

And he ran to the busy streets, speeding through people. I was getting scared for him, if something were to happen to him. I would never forgive myself. I was speeding through the busy streets, even at this time there were people out. And I couldn't see him anymore, I lost sight of him. People recognized me, they started whispering about me, wondering what was my hurry. I couldn't worry about that now. All I knew was I had to find him. 

And then he crossed the street, running. I looked up and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, when I saw a black car speeding towards him. I called out to him. 

''Shuuichi! Abunai!'' 

He stopped and paused, looking up in fear as it wrecklessly kept moving towards him. I ran out the sidewalk and towards him. Damn it! I don't care what happens to me now! I thought. I won't let him die! He can't die like this! 

All the people looked up and stopped. The car kept driving even faster and Shuuichi was frozen on his feet. 

''Shuuichi!'' 

I jumped, pushing him aside -- but before I could move away myself. The car had hit me, I opened my mouth to let out a cry. I was in pain -- And I felt myself falling... The people screamed in fear, in shock and I heard one more voice. 

''HIRO!!!!!!'' 

I landed on the ground. I winced and tried to move, I wanted to say his name. I felt the wet liquid behind my head, Oh this was it. I was bleeding, my whole body was in pain as I felt like every bone was being hammered down. My head was throbbing the pain was unbearable. I heard people yelling for someone to call an ambulance. And I felt him take me in his arms. I heard his tearful voice. 

''Hiro, please -- don't die on me! Oh shit, this is all-- SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!'' 

''S-Sh--Shuuichi... I--'' 

The pain was taking control. I wanted to cry out, I wanted to tell him that I loved him. But there was no voice that came out from me. Instead, there was endless black... 

* * *

_Well, here I am._

_Lying down, unconscious to them. I was going to be okay, I heard. It was already a few hours after they saved me. If it weren't for the quick action, maybe I'd be dead by now. The driver was drunk apparently, and he was arrested for this. I'm just glad I got there on time._

_Then, I could finally do it, I could finally open my eyes. I looked around me I was in a room -- and I was alive. I was thankful for that. My door opened and everyone entered. They looked happy to see I was alright. And I was happy to see them._

'' Hiro-kun! You're awake! Thank goodness!'' Noriko-san said in a relieved and motherly voice. She walked over to my side and took my hand. She sighed. ''We were all so worried about you!'' Sakano-san soon followed her and nodded, sighing in relief. '' Yokatta desu ne. When Shindou-kun called us and told us about it. We were so panicked and worried!'' 

''I'm alright, Noriko-san, Sakano-san.'' I assured her. '' I'm sorry I worried all of you.'' 

''What's important is you got here on time. Shuuichi took quick action to call an ambulance. Thank him.'' K-san said, smiling at me. ''You held on, you're stronger than I thought -- Hiroshi.'' 

Seguru smiled and nodded. ''Yokatta desu ne, Hiro-kun! You're not in pain anymore are you?'' he asked -- his expression suddenly worried.   
I smiled and shook my head. '' Not really, I'll be alright. '' And then I gazed over to Shuuichi who looked at me, so regretfully, so sorry. I sighed and looked up. ''Thanks all for being here, I really appreciate the concern.'' 

''Morchiron yo!'' Noriko-san said to me. '' I'm your studio manager, remember? And I care for you boys, you're under my care.'' She smiled and sighed. '' Watashi mou desu!'' Sakano-san added. ''Please be careful next time, both of you...'' 

K-san laughed and looked up. '' Noriko, Seguru, Sakano -- I think we should leave...'' 

''Leave?! I just got to talk to the boy! And you're asking me to leave?!'' 

Seguru understood. He smiled and tugged at Noriko-san's hand. '' Come on, Noriko-san. Let's just leave Shuuichi and Hiroshi for a while.'' 

Noriko-san smiled and nodded, sighing as she looked back at Hiroshi. ''get a lot of rest, alright?'' 

The four of them walked out. And only Shuuichi stayed. 

''Hiro, I ---'' he started off, then trailing off as he looked at me. '' I'm -- I'm so sorry!'' He ran to my side and started to cry. '' I'm so sorry for this! If I'd jump out of the way! --- If I--- If I --- Hiro! I'm just so -- '' 

I shook my head and smiled gently at him. '' No, don't blame yourself. I wanted to jump in there and save you. It wasn't your fault you were upset. '' 

'' I acted so selfish --- '' Shuuichi said, looking at me with those innocent violet eyes. '' And it almost cost you your life!'' 

'' Don't think that you act selfish.'' I told him, my voice stern again.   
''Eh?'' 

''You dont' act that way. You never even think about yourself. You helped Ayaka-chan, you wanted to help Yuki-san. '' I looked at him. '' So don't tell me that you act selfish, because you don't.''   
''Hiro...'' 

He trailed off and looked at me. 

''Why did you do it?''   
''Do what?''   
''This... Why did you do it?'' 

I smiled and sighed and then put a hand on his chin. ''Because, I told you before. '' I laughed softly. '' I like you.'' 

He paused for a minute and then sighed, smiled sadly and took my hand. 

''Thank you, Hiro... I owe you so much.'' 

He sighed and got up, then smiled slightly at me. 

'' Well, I better go. Get a lot of rest okay? Seguchi-san will be here soon.''   
'' Uhm. Sou da.'' 

He stood up and started to walk to the door, then he stopped and looked back at me. 

'' One more thing... '' he said. '' When you weren't unconsious... you said my name and you were going to say something else. What was it?'' 

Here it was. I paused and felt my heart racing and my mind screaming. I could look at him right now and tell him straight out that I love him. And I wanted to take care of him. Or, I could let him find the answers he wants for himself and not confuse him. He didn't exactly need that right now. 

What was I going to do? 

Then I smiled gently at him. 

Maybe he didn't need this right now. He was too confused right now. And I know he and Yuki-san weren't really going to break up. This happened all the time. I sighed and shook my head. I wanted to tell him, but somehow it didn't feel right. Maybe, one day he'll find out for himself. And when he does, we'll just see what happens then. I looked at him and shrugged, still smiling. 

'' I just wanted to say -- I'm glad I got there on time.'' 

Shuuichi smiled sadly at me and nodded. 

''Next time, just try not to risk your life when you do something for me.'' 

I felt the sadness overwhelm me. I missed the chance of telling him what I really think -- But I found the strength to laugh softly and look up at him. 

''Hey, nevermind. Go on, let me get my sleep, I'm getting cranky.'' I told him. 

He looked at me. And I froze, maybe he knew that's not what I really wanted to tell him. He wanted to ask me again, his violet eyes were gazing at me, and I could almost feel myself shaking slightly. But then he turned away, and walked out the door. 

''Aa... Yasumi nasai.'' 

As he closed the door, I leaned back and looked up. I closed my eyes and sighed and said to myself. 

''You're worth all that.''   


* * *

Well, there goes. I spent about two hours on this fanfic, because I had a little break to watch Ren and Stimpy. But what do you think? C and C's please. Flame mail? I'd gladly accept. Especially from rabid Eiri/Shuuichi fans. Go ahead, knock yourselves out. I'm a sport. Flames are good for me!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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